Almost 2010,
I can hardly believe it.

I still remember the days that I had to learn 1990 somethings in french.

Where doth the time go....

ask yourself.....

are you happy with where you've ended up?

but then again, it's the kind of question that sits like a poison in your brain.... what if?
what if I had ended up somewhere else? doing something else?
what if, I had ended up happier than where I am now..

so maybe, just maybe. it's not the best question to ask, yet I can't stop asking it of myself.

poisonous.
venomous.
lethal.

E.M.O

Moodstat 7.7

The idea that has affected me most significantly these past months is: How incredibly amazing and powerful the mind can be. "mind over matter" they say.

All you really have to do, is think positively. I've always been told that, and have never put it into practice. It actually almost feels like a physical strain on my brain doing it, but it's worth it in the end.

"The heart doesn't feel/fear what the mind has not thought.." someone told me once.

and omg.. its 12:33... time for bed!!

**new photos coming to a computer screen near you.

"what seems, not so long ago,
I count backward in my mind...
and it ends up being four years.

a different chair.
but still the same blank screen.
I have since stopped waiting.

but there are days I sit here
and remember..
sometimes painfully, but most of the time..

as a spectator
of a tragedy, repeating itself..
over and over again."

my old artistic passion is coming back.
at least, little glimpses of what it was.
that, and my need to journalize. oooh la la.

I must say though. it makes me so sad
to find that my good ol' DA friends,
the ones who supported me, encouraged me
while I was yet a little DA tot, a little DA seedling,
have fallen off the face of DA!

_______________________________________________
"that's all I needed,
to calm the churning and burning
of the acid drowning my heart
in the cauldron of my gutt

it's all I needed:
your fingers running through my hair
my senses lingering in that wonderful moment
savouring the gentleness of your touch

and when i opened my eyes
the smile on your lips
and those seagreen eyes,
staring lovingly, with familiar adoration
at the woman wrapped in your embrace.

it's all I ever need"